Humility to be Myself

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend about our journey of faith, trying to grow and stay obedient to what God is saying to us. We decided how very important it is that we be humble. If we are humble there is an openness to receive advice and correction, but also a confidence to walk securely and truly as we are, whom God has made us to be. Have you ever considered that it takes humility to be truly confident in ourselves?  If we can do that, God is glorified and miraculous things happen through us.

Let's think through this. God made us in His image and He made each of us unique. I don't need to elaborate on that. We have heard that many times. So, if He went to all this trouble to make just one me, then He must need me to be me at this time in history. But, to be truly who I am requires me to be vulnerable and courageous. For me to be truly who I am requires me to be humble. When I can realize that God made me and wants me to be me, He and wants me to do that well, I realize that He will help me. That means if I mess up, He will let me know and correct me. And, He is also big enough to fix whatever I mess up. If I fail, He is way bigger than even that. The truth is that He will lead me and teach me. If I am humble I don't mind repenting or apologizing if I need to. I am grateful for the correction .  I can do that because God is continuing to help me to learn how being myself glorifies Him. It gives me confidence to go ahead and be me..

This was really brought to my attention in the past week. I have always been a little afraid to be myself because I have a strong personality. I am opinionated and I am very direct when I speak. Believe me, that does not always go over well, especially as a woman. But the truth is that I love people. I truly do and that is the main thing.  I have found that at the PARC for the first time in my life I can be  who I truly am and it is the right thing to be. I am way out of my element, but I have found the confidence of humility. Last week Jennifer came in. Jennifer was a member 10 years ago when the PARC first opened. She was rough and had a hard time wanting to participate and work on projects and activities. I remember that I had to correct her language a lot. As time went on she became more a part of things. During that time Jennifer had cancer and was going through chemo treatments. Can you imagine going through that while being homeless? Truthfully, that is all that I remember about Jennifer. She moved on and I didn't know what became of her.

Last week she came in all hot and sweaty and said, "Ms. Valerie, I just had to come and see you." It's been 10 years!  She sat down and began to tell us what was going on. She is now married and she and her husband  just lost the house that they have lived in for 6 the last years. The house that they had found to live in wouldn't be ready for 2 weeks. She has a job that she loves, but her car just got stolen and she was having to walk to work. She was on her way to finish paying off her tickets and she decided to stop by.. She took hold of her head and said, "Ms. Valerie. This has been a hard week. I feel like my head is about to explode and that I am going to have a panic attack. I think that I just need prayer. I just knew that I had to come here." As I went to get one of our volunteers (who loves to pray) to come and join me I heard Jennifer say, "I didn't even know God until Ms. Valerie told me about Him. I got saved here." 

Now, that is a wonderful story. It is a wonderful testimony, but I have to be honest. I don't remember that. I don't remember telling her about God and her getting saved. I don't remember a big 'aha' moment when Jennifer changed. I just hoped that she could stay off of drugs. My point is that it wasn't anything that I DID. So often I hear people say that they want to be "the hands and feet of Jesus', and I get that. But we have to be careful that it doesn't become something we DO. It has to be somebody that we are. Truthfully, I am a mess. Good grief, if you are around me for very long you will know that. The fact that God is working in me and through me blows me away!! I don't understand. But I have seen it. Over and over. If I will be brave enough to be myself, knowing that God is walking with me, leading and correcting me  as I go, I can rest assured to know that I am covered by Him. He will do wonderful and miraculous things and I get to be there! He lets me be a part of His wonderful and redemptive work because that was His plan all along. When he created me just like this, that was His plan.